Six Secrets for Creating a Field of Love at Your Gathering

article | 2000 words — simple actions that make all the difference

Introduction

For more than 30 years I've been cultivating "Harmonically Resonant Communities" and closely observing how they come to be. I coined the term about 10 years ago when I was contemplating my core values. You may instinctively know what I mean by it, but in brief, Harmonically Resonant Community is a group of people who resonate together in such a way that supports everyone in the direction of well-being, fulfillment, and beneficial impact on the world.

In this article, I will share six of my tried-and-true secrets for generating a harmonically resonant field of love at your gatherings, large and small. Some of these actions are deceptively simple, but they make a big difference. It might take a little courage to dive in, but follow your heart, and love yourself along the way.

1. Word-of-Heart Invitations

The overall key to cultivating a field of love is to weave love through your whole process. That means starting with love when you invite people. I have developed a specific process for growing an invitation list, which I may share in a future article. For now, it's enough to say: follow that spark in your heart.

Is there someone you feel both super comfortable with, happy to be with, and would enjoy the company of one-on-one? Start by inviting them. Find a date that works for both of you. Then, even if it's just the two of you, you are assured to have a wonderful time.

From there, follow the spark of love/joy/affection and see how the people you choose to invite naturally grow from there. If you are aiming for a larger gathering, start by inviting people you love. Then encourage them to invite people they love. When the time comes at the gathering to address the group as a whole, you can honestly say that "Everyone is here because they are loved." The field of love is automatic and instantaneously brightened by our collective awareness of it.

2. Greeting People With Love

Years ago a friend asked her mother-in-law what her secret was to the many successful parties she had thrown. Her answer was simple: "As soon as someone walks in the door, make sure they feel warmly welcomed." This is a great example of a high-leverage action. It is such a high priority for me, if I am unable to greet people myself for whatever reason, I ask an open-hearted someone else to be in charge of that. I am sure to convey to them how important it is to stay focused on the task.

What a "warm welcome" means to me is to greet people with joy and an open heart. Reflect to each person their innate value. Be demonstrative of your appreciation of their presence. Help each person orient to the space if needed, and/or connect them with someone they might enjoy talking with if they are new to the group.

Each person's arrival is their personal first impression of the gathering. And we all know the impact of first impressions. People need to feel it. So set your shyness aside and love with joy and an open heart. You're the first violin of a symphony and everyone tunes themselves to that vibration. Just by this one practice, the field of love is set in motion.

3. One-Word Check-ins

For a field of love to be real, not just a nice idea, we need to be aware of each other and in a caring co-creation of the space. One-word check-ins are a simple yet powerful way to accomplish that.

The idea is simple. The example I'll give assumes that we are gathered in a circle or around a table.

1. Invite each person to invite into the space a quality of presence or spirit that would help make the experience fulfilling for them. Examples could be: Authenticity, Playfulness, or Connection. In my instruction to the group, I explain that it's not the person's responsibility to bring that quality into the space; they are simply inviting or invoking that quality. Like a wish spoken aloud.

2. After the simple instruction, I give us all moment to consider what quality we would like to invite.

3. I go first and then invite us to continue clockwise around the circle, pausing for a few seconds after each person to feel the possibility of that quality they have just named. Even if it's a small group that knows each other, I usually have each person say their name and the words "I invite into the circle ___________". I start out by saying something like "My name is Maja, and Invite into the circle the quality of delight." I pause for a moment, maybe 3 seconds, then turn to the person on my left and invite them to go next with a gesture or a nod.

Depending on the context, I will start this process with a very brief welcoming or statement of the purpose of the gathering. "Thank you all so much for being here. It is an honor to share this time with you. I'd like to start with a simple opening for us to create a circle together." I don't say too much at this point because it's important for each person to invest their presence and voice into the space from the start.

4. Attune to Beauty Together

After we have created a circle together as above, and thus created a sense of safety through mutual awareness, this is a beautiful opportunity to settle in even more deeply by attuning to a moment of beauty together.

Tuning into beauty doesn't have to be complicated. It could be as simple as inviting everyone's attention to a bouquet of flowers in the center of the circle for a moment. It could be mentioning how the candle in the center of the table is a simple continuation of the ancient, natural practice of gathering around a fire to share stories, wisdom, and dreams. It could be playing a recorded piece of music for intentional listening, or reading a poem you have chosen specifically to set a tone for the gathering.

Depending on what feels right and natural for you, you could ring a meditation bell three times and invite a minute of silence, ending with another three bells. You could invite three simple breaths (simple is good, "deep" breaths aren't right for everyone), and bring awareness to the fact that each breath is our continual immersion in the ecology of life on earth; we are embedded in nature and are a part of it.

If you want to take the beauty attunement to a whole new level, my Flow Harps are designed for just this purpose. Sacred Space Facilitator, Lisa Lewis-Cogswell said in a recent dialogue that these harps were on "a whole different stratosphere" of sacred space creation tools. If you want to take your sacred space creation to a new level, check out our dialogue to learn more about this unique and magical instrument that gently cultivates depth and resonance in a group.

5. Play with Purpose

The above simple secrets to creating a field of love are all part of the set-up for the heart of why you have gathered people. Is there a specific conversation you have planned, a birthday social time, a ceremony of some kind? The possibilities are endless for the reason you have gathered.

But there is a foundational principle I would like to impart. Any successful gathering creates a space in which good things happen. The space you provide and create can be structured in such a way to naturally facilitate your desired outcome.

I'll refer again to my Flow Harps. These instruments are designed and tuned very specifically to allow the creation of beautiful sounds even if you don't have musical experience. The set-up and structure of the harp allows the desired outcome to happen naturally. It allows you as the player to enter a beauty-creating flow state and carry the listeners along with you.

Similarly a gathering, if designed well, will naturally cultivate or support your intended purpose.

"Just let the people do what they want" is missing a beautiful opportunity. You definitely want to create a space for free play, but free play without structure is never actual reality. There is always a structure, just having a body is a complex structure of atoms, molecules, cells and organs. You are not only playing within that structure, you are able to play because of the structure.

Think of children playing in total abandon. It is important to have a fence around the playground. The fence is what allows the abandon, until one comes to the age where they internalize safe boundaries and not run out in front of oncoming cars.

Structures don't have to be cages. Structures can nurture and liberate. I encourage you to find the structures, processes, and simple but powerful rules that make the big difference to support the outcomes you want at the heart of your gathering.

6. Weaving Love and Wisdom

After the heart of your gathering has happened, it's important to acknowledge the closing of the space. As a host it is ideal for you to connect with each person before they leave. If it makes sense, you can mention to the group at some point, "Please give me a hug before you go," or whatever version of connecting feels good and authentic for you.

Depending on the process or context, it's super duper to give people a minute to reflect on what they've just experienced. Some creative collaborators and I came up with a simple yet quietly profound closing exercise, which I am now calling "5-Word Highlights."

Closing with 5-Word Highlights:

1. Give people a minute to reflect on what just transpired in their experience of the gathering. Ask: What wisdom or insight did you discover? What golden thread would you like to pick up from this experience to share with the group and/or remember moving forward?

2. After a minute of silence for this inquiry, invite people to write five words that distill or highlight this golden thread or overview of the experience that they are willing to share out loud with the group.

   It could be a concise poetic sentence. It could be 5 adjectives. It could even be five made-up words. It doesn't have to be strictly 5 words, but it can be fun and fruitful to aim precisely for 5 words. No apology necessary if the count is off.

   Allow two minutes or so for this process. Give a 30-second warning, by saying "Ok, we'll have about 30 more seconds, so get clear on your 5 words or write it down if you haven't already."

3. Go first and set an example. Tell people that we are invited to read the words five times slowly, as if they were written by a beloved mystic poet or wise being. We are collectively creating a group guided meditation. So we can all soak in the wisdom and highlight we have woven together. After sharing the 5 words 3 times, close the circle with a statement similar to the beginning. "I close the circle with __________" And fill in the blank with one to 3 words to describe the quality of your experience right now.

   I will give an example of what I might say in the group, using the completion of this article as my reflection point.

   "Cultivating the soil of love. (pause)

   Cultivating the soil of love. (pause)

   Cultivating the soil of love. (pause)

   I close this article with appreciation for our connection."

Explore More

As I mentioned, the above secrets are simple, but I assure you their effectiveness runs deep. Each one activates a field of loving presence and connection that supports fulfillment individually, collectively, and even globally.

Each gathering you host is an opportunity to plant seeds for cultivating a world we all want to live in. I invite you to explore the possibility of Creative Mentoring with me or learn more about The Power of Flow Harps.

Let's create a world of beauty, one conscious connection at a time.

❤ 2024 | Maja Apolonia Rodé

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